R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize