windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
