She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
