Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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