Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
