And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
