you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
