We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
