Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
whose parrot is this?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize