Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
