Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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