There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
