Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
