She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
