4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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