SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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