well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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