p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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