It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
