So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
