I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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