Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
