they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
