I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
