I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize