i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
