if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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