R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize