So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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