I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You ruined the universe
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
