my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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