We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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