In the future we'll all be gay
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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