It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
