he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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