His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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