Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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