I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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