I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
