hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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