Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize