Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
