When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
