Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
