can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
