I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just had sex bonerless
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
