I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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