I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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