You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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