Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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