I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Couch. On fire.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize