I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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