I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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