I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
