This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
