the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
