One girl and one boy is just not enough.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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