I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
