You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
