The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
