I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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