we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize