We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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