I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
