have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Found your dick twin last night
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
